It was the summer of 2006 when my journey took me to Cambodia. I went because I wanted some answers. I wanted to know whether these feelings, ideas and urges I got to become a priest were just in my head or if they were really a calling from God. I figured that if I went to Cambodia with the MaryKnoll missionaries/priests, I would come home with a better idea about whether this whole religious life thing was for me. This was my vocation litmus test.

My ministry in Cambodia began quite simply but evolved into many different tasks. I would wake up very early and go to the villages, hospices and hospitals and visit those that were fighting and most who were losing to HIV AIDS. In Cambodia one out of 10 has HIV AIDS and the people are not receiving the help that they need. I would later go to the tutoring centers and play with the kids and sometimes even help tutor in various subjects. Some afternoons I would go to the orphanage and play with those children. On the weekends I would play soccer with the kids and teach English in the learning center.

My underlying ministry was to love, encourage, and offer hope to the people, and from that basic premise came whatever ministry I did. Initially, I had no idea of the impact that my presence would have on people. I soon realized that for many of them, this was the first American that they had seen up close and personal and for some, probably the last. The people who were fighting HIV AIDS were shocked that I, an American, cared how they were doing. But I was the one receiving a gift. My real feeling of accomplishment came with every smile or laugh that I saw while talking to them. They offered me a dose of reality, the frailty of our human condition. And with their smiles and their laughter, they gave me hope, that there is a chance to make a difference in this world, even if it is just in the small things.

Through it all, I began to really realize that the people not only needed medicine and food, but they also needed hope and love. I realized that I was spreading the Gospel just as much when I was giving out food and teaching English as when I was playing soccer with the kids. The ministry really became a lifestyle and one that I enjoyed. In offering myself to them, I was finding that I, too, was receiving more of life. I was able to take part in many things in the short time I was there and I met many great people. I had a greater understanding of what Jesus was telling me when He said in the scriptures that He was thirsty, that He was naked, He was ill…etc. And it was very real to me that Jesus was suffering with every cry of His people.

When I came home, I found myself with no more excuses and I knew that I owed it to myself and to God to listen to my heart. So I did and I haven’t looked back.